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Jobs Available After 2-0 Loss

Saturday, 03.29.2008 / 4:39 PM / Blogs
By Bill Davidge  - Television Color Analyst
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Jobs Available After 2-0 Loss

March 29

JOBS AVAILABLE

 

Responsibilities:

Looking for young men willing to go to the "right" areas of the offensive zone for the purpose of scoring goals for the benefit of winning games. Win one on one battles, fight through traffic and drive to the net for the purpose of scoring a goal.

Work with Life Coaches in the winter with the opportunity to first of all collect a paycheck but foremost to carry the Stanley Cup around the ice in the middle of June. That Cup can also be flown to any destination of your choice to share a day with your friends and family with one expense to you… except pay the price.

One must have to have the ability to work with others, but it is fine that every once in a while you take care of business yourself. Just be sure it is part of company policy and under the guidelines of the life coaches.

 

Working hours?
Maximum of 82 nights. Four shifts are available and if one really shows the knack for going to the net and having success, power play minutes and penalty kill time will be rewarded accordingly.

Where to Apply? (No need to apply, we have head hunters within the corporation that scour the globe in search of these talents, they will find you)

For those of interest that are part of the company line now just show up to any one of four cities in the next week starting in Chicago on Sunday, Detroit on Thursday, St. Louis on Saturday and a huge gala on Sunday in Columbus, Ohio. This event is called the FANtastic FANale VII. That would be a great event to leave the fans remembering what skills you bring to the work place and the opportunity to be employed and work in the NHL again.

Pay Scale?
Contingent on your success around the blue of the crease it could be worth millions. If not, one could be shipped to other cities such as Syracuse, Elmira and Dayton… or sometimes parts unknown. The possibility of reapplying grows slim once moved from the Columbus site.

Benefits?
Security patrolled parking spot, personal trainer, strength coach, psychologist, masseuse, equipment manager, catered meals and use of the teams private jet to get to work… oh yes…there is a doctor on call within the premises. Dental (you will need this) and major medical are all part of the benefit package.

 

Other opportunities within the Company coming soon?

1. The Skilled Center (1-2)
The company will soon be looking for a skilled apprentice that controls the center ice position. Have the ability to work with power forwards for the opportunity to score more goals. Size is negotiable but skill and performance is not. Must have the craftsmanship to win face-offs and assist in defending own turf in the defensive zone. Peripheral vision, soft hands and the ability to create space are qualities that management loves.

2. The Puck Moving Defenseman (1-2)
A new apprentice has shown several of these qualities the last two nights in Nashville and again in Columbus against Chicago… his name is Clay Wilson… he has shown the skill set that the company was looking for in a player when back in the fall of 2007 a trade with that Anaheim Duck organization allowed the exchanging of personnel and the skill set that exemplifies with company policy. A good skater sees the ice ahead and has the ability to sustain an attack from Defense to offense with opportunity to create the much needed offense. There will be a couple of these positions available.

3. One Role player
The company already has a Jared Boll, a young man that goes up and beyond for this responsibility. Day in and day out, Jared, whether 100% or less, comes to play and gives it all when on company time. He has the ability to get involved and as time passes the chance to score goals.

Last night was a true example of his want to be part of the organization as he took on a pest from a neighboring city Nashville. Jared quieted the young man called Tootoo with a couple of "how do you like me so far" and helped get the crowd involved early.

One more player with that tenacity, grit and grind in this manner would be a welcome addition to the organization. Oh yes, if the hands get too dirty when accomplishing this job, there are company showers, hot tubs, pools and steamers that can be used to clean up and get ready for another day on the job.

Stay tuned as we finish the last week of current evaluations!

 



*Throughout the season, AAA will bring you the Broadcaster's Blogs - "Davidge Dishes" and "Rimer Ramblings". The Columbus Blue Jackets broadcasters will try to keep you update on all the behind the scenes action through their blogs, especially when the Blue Jackets hit the road. The next road game is 3/30 @Chicago.

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